My husband and I make it a rule not to argue in front of our now 5-year old b/g twins. Having said that, we are realistic and know that they will encounter disagreements. We try to teach them that it is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.
Wise at 5!
These past few weeks have been more hectic than usual in our family. Our kids graduated from their school prep course, our business is growing and my husband is very busy at work and working on his golf game!
On our way to the graduation ceremony for the end of the School’s Cool program we got a flat tire which put us in jeapordy of being late. My biggest pet peeve is being late! I feel instant stress when I am about to be late. I know this but I still find my temperature rising when it is about to happen. I was “discussing” with my husband that we should have taken the other car and this wouldn’t have happened. I may have been using a tone of voice that was a little more, shall we say, harsh than I should have.
After listening for a while, my daughter piped up from the back seat and said “Mom, you married dad so that means you love him so you shouldn’t argue.
Sometimes we forget just how important our partner is and take advantage of this. My daughter’s words will stay with me for a long time and I will try harder to be more agreeable when I disagree.
1 response so far ↓
Louise L. // August 20, 2008 at 11:15 pm
That is a wonderful story… Our kids show us the way so many times – they bring us back to our center of wisdom. Important is that we are open to the bigger lesson in the moment so our energy might be transformed- which you were. Good for you… And an invaluable topic. It is so important to be able to express our frustrations rather than to hold them in, though so often we unintentionally do so in ways that escalate things. Getting to express what is bothering us, but with a different (more agreeable) energy behind our expression makes all of the difference in the world regarding outcomes/solutions, and a peaceful heart for all parities involved.
Again great lesson